A Broken Heart

Friday evening I got the phone call that I had been dreading. Stitch was unable to walk or even stand up and his eyes were twitching. The vet said that at his age she didn't want to put him through lots of test and that with the signs he was showing he wasn't going to get better. She thought it was probably a brain tumor or a stroke. So my mom called and together we made the hard decision to let him go.

Stitch was my first born and best friend. I was there when he was born and he was with me through all of the ups and downs of my life. I bought my first house for him, he was my therapist when my first marriage ended, he was my nurse and physical therapist after surgery, he was my popcorn eating study buddy when I was in nursing school, he was my side kick when I moved to Virginia and had no friends, he was there when Jai proposed to me and he was there when I brought home my first baby.

A little over a year ago he went to live with my parents. As the mom of a toddler and another baby on the way I didn't feel like he was getting the attention that he deserved and needed and I knew that my parents could give him all the love he needed plus some. They have his brother and they had the time to go on walks and take camping trips. I know this was the best thing for Stitch, but it still breaks my heart that I didn't have him here and that I wasn't there in those final moments. I wanted to see him one more time and let him know how much I loved him. My parents and their dog spent an hour sitting with him and loving him and my mom told him that I loved him and so his final moments were peaceful and filled with love.

I promised Stitch that someday I would take him to the beach. I always thought we would go to the Oregon Coast, but we never made it so when we moved to Virginia we took him to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. This is a picture of him enjoying the sand and sun on Okracoke Island. It was one of the best trips Jai and I ever took with him.

This is my favorite picture of him. This was taken at Skinny Dipper hot springs in Idaho. That was a great day. Nothing better than a hike up to the hot springs in the snow.

Isha loves Stitch. She asks me about him all the time. I don't know how to explain this to her now so I haven't said anything. I guess when the time comes I will just tell her the truth, that Stitch is in Heaven.

My parents also had Stitch's dad, who died last year. Some day when Gator goes to be with them we will take all of their ashes up in the mountains in Idaho and let the three of them be together always.

I LOVE YOU STITCH

Idaho

People are always asking me questions about Idaho. The most common question I get is: What do you miss about Idaho? Well here it is:

A beautiful sunset in Roseberry Idaho.

Payette Lake in McCall Idaho

I really miss the beauty of Idaho. People are always cracking jokes about the potatoes and how backwards they think Idaho is, but the funny thing is that most of those people have never even been here. They have no idea of how beautiful it is here. I also miss the people of Idaho. We went to the music festival in Roseberry and it was fun just to relax and listen to the music. It was also fun to sit back and look at all the people. I can't exactly put my finger on what exactly makes Idahoans look different, but part off it is the laid back attitude. I also noticed that once you head north of Boise, most men don't shave. Gillette must not make any money here.
The old general store in Roseberry Idaho.

It was great to be able to go back home for a visit. When I first moved away from Idaho I felt so free and independent. I loved exploring my new surroundings and feeling proud of myself for being brave enough to move away. But now I feel myself being homesick more often. I'm sure that part of it is Isha, but I also think that as the newness of Virginia wears of I miss Idaho more and more. I feel guilty that I took so much for granted when I lived in Idaho. Virginia is beautiful and I really do love it here, but it will never be a replacement for Idaho. There is something about the place you grow up. It becomes a part of who you are.

You know you are in Idaho when you get out of your car and step into a cow pie. I like to call this an Idaho welcome mat! Ha Ha.
It was great to see some wildlife while I was at home, like this deer that ran through the cottage neighborhood in McCall.
My grandmother came to visit and we were able to get a picture of all four generations together. I have a 4 generations picture with my Great Grandmother and I want Isha to have one so that someday she can look at it and see all of us together.
It breaks my heart sometimes that Isha won't grow up an Idahoan, but at least I get to bring her home and take her to the places that I grew up and that are important to me. She will probably always be a Virginian at heart, but that is okay because she will have her own special memories just like I do.
The one thing I miss most about Idaho is my family. Sometimes I feel like I have cheated Isha out of a lot by living so far away from home, but then I remember that if it wasn't for meeting Jai and moving to Virginia, I wouldn't even have Isha. So I just do the best I can. Isha may not grow up in Idaho, but at least she will have lots of good memories of time spent there.